In my post about the mistakes we make when trying to change something occurred to me about the emotions surrounding change and some of the reasons we don’t succeed, so this year I’m going to do it different.
This year instead of inviting myself to a “pity party” over my failures and short comings of this past year, I’m going to invite myself to an accomplishment party. I may even invite my family too.
Measuring the Gain and not the Gap
If you are like me when it comes to feeling good about my goals I measure myself against perfection (I know none of you do this right?)
For example if my goal was to connect more frequently with my siblings by calling each of them every quarter (I have 9 siblings so this is no small thing) and I do it 100% percent the first 2 quarters and 50% the third and 10% the last – did I accomplish my goal?
Typically I would say no – but in measuring the gain I HAVE to look at it a different way. I need to see that I talked to everyone of my sibling’s 2x that year – learning about their kids and their lives in a way I wouldn’t have without setting the goal. Was I perfect? NO – but that was not my goal. My goal was to connect more frequently with my siblings. I did it! Yay for me!
I know that with our perfectionistic mentality it is a hard thing to not always focus on the gap – but it is so important that we consistently look at what we did accomplish instead of belittling ourselves for what we didn’t do. Negativity is not a motivator! Not with your kids, not with your grandkids and ESPECIALLY not with yourself.
I have a quote that I love that says “shoot for the moon, and even if you miss it you’ll sit among the stars.” Like in the image above – if we don’t start we will not have the privilege of a different point of view, meeting people and just learning about ourselves.
FOCUS ON THE GAIN!
Celebration of a Year of Resolutions
How many times do we sit down at the end of the year, take out last years goals and say – “nope, nope, well kinda, nope.” It’s all or nothing. So why not instead take out last years goals and write down how you made progress in each of these areas?
I’m going to try it this year. I’m to go through each month and write down all the amazing things I’ve accomplished. I’m going to make the party fun and enjoyable I may even get myself a present but I’m really going celebrate and recognize what I did do and not what you didn’t do.
5 Tips on planning an Accomplishment Party
- Who to invite – Well, you of course. Should you invite others? This is completely up to you. I would suggest doing your own first or separate and then if you have the type of family that is loving and supportive of this sort of thing invite all of them.
- Send out special invitations – Invitations always make a party special, so send out the invitations to your party. If inviting your family don’t forget to invite those that live outside your area – you can do it live on FB, Skype or just online via posts.
- Prepare everyone – so they know what this party is about. Ask them to look at last years goals and to come prepared to share their accomplishments.
- Good food – OK you can’t have a party without having lots and lots of good food.
- Gift – I love the idea of receiving a gift in celebration of my accomplishments for the year. It doesn’t have to be costly it can be as simple as a journal or a quote. It just needs to feel like “you did it”
I’ve never done this before but this year, even if it’s just with myself I’m going to celebrate my accomplishments before setting my new goals. Please let me know what you think of this idea and if it works for you.